Trinity’s World

That’s right, this post is being posted from my hotel room in Kokomo Indiana. I’m here on business, my company needed someone to come out here and do a training for the back office of on of our Broker/Dealers.

I like traveling. But I’m really glad I don’t have to do this on a regular bases. I’m only going to be gone for one night, I don’t like being away from my wife. I like flying, the sensation of take off is just awesome. But I’m really glad that I will have one more trip next month, and I’m done for the year (I pretty sure)

So what have I learned from this trip so far:

1. Never let your itinerary of your sight.
   • This means that when you are jotting notes down on it the day before you leave, because you want to make sure you remember what the head of marketing wants you to cover, you actually put said itinerary in your laptop bag to take with you (not leaving it on your desk to scramble back to the office to get in time to make your flight the next morning)
2. Sonic Burger is the food of the gods:
   • I used to think Inn and Out was the king of the burger universe. Sonic Burger was in California for while, and I hear rumor that there are still few locations left, but not where I live. There is a Sonic Burger down the road from my Hotel, so my dinner tonight was most excellent
3. All states that are not California, need to re-think their speed limits
   • With possibly the exception of Nevada, driving outside of California is hell. Just to illustrate my point, the posted speed limit in my home town was 55MPH. No before you point out that I grew up in the middle of no-where, the posted Speed limit in the city of Rancho Cucamonga, near where I live, is also 55MPH. The posted speed limit on most of the 5 freeway in California is 70MPH. I get here to Indiana and have to drive 60 miles to my hotel from the Airport and it took me almost two hours because the posted speed limit on the 645 freeway is 45MPH, and it only has two lanes.
4. Rental Car companies exist so that you do not make a mistake buy a car that sucks
   • I’m a firm believe in the “Try before you buy” philosophy. This Chevy four door that I was given as a rental car, is so unbelievable bad that I think it is powered by hamsters. Not only is it a hideous Khaki color, not only does it look like the orphaned step child of a VW hippy van and a Ford Escort, but when you step on the gas it makes high pitched whine like you asked it to do something hard. I think the name is Katimer or something like that, I’ve honestly mentally blocked it out it is such a bad car.

So that’s all from Kokomo. I’m going to settle down and watch some TV and go to bed now.

Hate is a strong word. And to be honest, it is very hard to tell the difference between hate and envy at times. Or maybe the reality is that it is easier to hate something that is intangible than to deal with the fact that you are inadequate in and of ourselves to master said object.

No matter what happens, I keep finding myself under the gun when it comes to money issues. Just when I think finances are about to equalize and we finally have gotten on top of things, I apparently forgot to read the fine print on something somewhere and end up having to pay a fee for something. Case in point, if you make the minimum payment that is listed as due on your credit card, that is not necessarily what you have to pay in order not to receive a finance charge (especially it a late payment fee was assessed and that put you over your credit limit resulting in an over limit charge as well). And in these instances there really is only one place to put the blame for my financial problems. As much as I would like to put the blame on other people, I know the fault lies with me. It is my fault my wife and I are in the situation we are in.

Here is the rub: We have enough money to barely get by with what we need, but not enough to get far enough ahead that we can get out from under this huge big weight it feels like is pulling down on my shoulders. And there is not more emasculating than knowing that you can no longer afford to get your wife birthday presents, because if you don’t bite the bullet now with some of your bills it will take twice as long to ride of them. And each months I think this is the last time we have to do this, and we end up being just short of our goal. Just short, in this game, means a lot of money shelled out this month that we were hoping not to.

I wish we could just get over the hump. Once we are there, that will free up enough money each month to do things like get our cars registered (if they pass smog check). And to boot, the AC when out on my car for the second time in a week. Usually I would just ask my Dad if I could go out to his place to get it fixed, but that cost more money in gas that I have this month. I’m actually kind of glad that my wife got to go to North Caroline to visit her Grandmother, because they are celebrating their birthday together. Had she stayed here she would have had to endure another birthday where I could not get her anything.

And I refuse to take the out of blaming credit cards on my debt situation. Had I not gone into credit card debt, I would not have been able to afford for my wife and I, gas to get to work, or other things that I must have to keep from going into worse debt. I knew that it would not be fun to dig back out, and that it would take a year or so, but in the economy and job market I am luck to be able to make due with what I have. I work hard, and I life a modest life, I should not have to constantly fight this dam hard to have a peaceful life.

So the question is: Is it because we don’t have money, or is it because I can’t manage to manage our money correctly? I honestly don’t know. I know that we do not live a life of luxury, and I can see places we could not spend money, but I don’t see us being able to save enough money by doing so to make a dent in other things.

My wife and I were talking the other day I realized something: I’m so freakin’ busy!

I don’t know how it happened but I’m really busy. If a friend wants to hang out with me, they basically have to call me and set a date a month in advanced. That’s so weird. And here is the thing that makes is kind of scary, I don’t feel busy. I feel like my life is going at a good pace, that things are moving along fine. Is that normal?

Anyway, I got to thinking (which is always an interesting adventure) and I realized that if my life is not in constant motion I get board. With out work, the Belles, random weekend trips for things I have to do, I would sit at home and be board. So I asked myself why that is and I figured it out. Money.

I’m so glad to finally have a job that lets me pay the bills. It not only pays the bills but lets me do a few cool things as well. For instance, my friend Clifton asked me to be in his wedding and I said yes months ago. I found out latter that the wedding was in the Salinas area, about three hundred miles away from where I live. I was able to pay for the gas (320 miles round trip) for my car, the hotel stay, and all the other random expenses it took to get my wife and I there and back. Yes we had to be careful with money because of this trip, but we did not have to worry about food, Rent, or gas money for the things we do. This is a first in a long time for my wife and I.

How does that have anything to do with why I am busy? Well, when you don’t have money, and you live in the LA area (I’m sure it is the same else where too) there is not much you can do. You can’t really stay at home during the summer because it costs too much to pay for the electric bill (about $80 a month for a one bedroom apartment). You can’t go to places like Starbucks to beat the heat, because you need to save the money for food or gas. So you end up staying busy with work or going places with people. I’m certain of it.

Now that I have a little money, I have just enough to not need to worry but not enough to do the things I want. I would like to get my car working so it can pass the smog inspection for DMV, however I can afford to stop and get Chinese food if I don’t feel like cooking. I would like to be able to afford health insurance for both my wife and I, but I can support both of us in the sate we are currently in. And I find myself reflecting on the times when we had even less money and being thankful for what we have, even if it is followed by that feeling that we are not quite where we want to be.

So here is my solution. I need to win The Lottery. That way I can pay off all my debt, afford to buy a house for my wife and I that is still In California, pay for my wife to have medical coverage, get us each cars that we don’t have to be afraid of having random mechanical problems, and dedicate our lives to the things we love to do. We could both go back to school and finish our respective degrees, and put enough money aside in investments to live a comfortable life. I’d want to be that guy that no one knows is rich unless they get to know him, who is quite about the money he gives to people and organization, and stays down to earth. If that happened, then I would not have to stay busy to keep my mind of what I don’t have. Then I could actually spend time writing my stories, learning to play new folk instruments and songs, and maybe even spend more time with the people in my life that matter with out having to make an appointment weeks in advance.

Or I could just be rambling…I think we all dream of something like this happening. Honestly, I would be happy with being able to my wife happy, and having a family of my own that I don’t have to worry about feeding and clothing. Is that too much to ask for? I don’t think so.

I heard about this earlier this week at work and thought it was a hoax, but I found out its not.

For years human beings have been using things like dog whistles that will drive animals nuts but no so much with humans. We have finally figured out how to do this with humans too. But the application is a little scary. Imagine, teaching a class of jr. or sr. high school students, and telling them that if you hear their cell phone go off you will have to take it away. Well, kids today can now download ring tones to their phones that are ultrasonic in pitch, and are beyond the hearing range of a person who is approximately 30 years of age. So, those teachers who just got out of their credential program can still here it, but if you are in your 40’s forget it. Don’t believe me?

http://www.ultrasonic-ringtones.com/

It will scare you. I can only hear the first three test tones they have, the others I can not hear. They even boost that you can “fool your teachers”. As if I needed any more help, no I have cell phone companies reminding me that I’m so old I’m loosing my hearing.

OK, so I find myself posting a reply to an other post here for all my faithful viewers (all 3 of you) to enjoy. I must say that there once I started writing this response I was kind of shocked to see a lot of stuff just come out that I have not had to think about in a while, and some things defiantly differ from the way they used to be a few years ago. I guess three years of struggling to make ends meet can change your view of things a bit. Anyway, enjoy.

Posted in responce to the statment:
“I want someone to prove that the Old Testament either is or isn’t neccessary in Christian believes. Then I’ll really have something to rant about.”

OK, well I was with you till your statement at the end. I spent four years at a Christian University (AKA Programming Center) and graduated with a degree in Biblical Studies. The problem is that you have been distracted from the get go by the very people you are trying to speak against. Don’t get sucked into an argument of “what parts of the bible apply to me and which one’s don’t.” This path will only lead you down a road of drawing line after line in order to define what you are supposed to act like…just like they do…just like the Pharisees of old did.

The Old Testament is important for one major reason…with out it you have no foretelling of the coming of Christ, or the reason that he needs to come. With out it, we do not see how God has tried over and over to save people in almost every kind of circumstance, and finally did the ultimate sacrifice in the end in order to make sure as many people were saved as possible. The message of the Bible is not a do an do not do list for life. The message of the Bible is not how to measure up in order to please God. The message of the Bible is that man is corrupt, and in order for there to be any way for Man to be acceptable in the eyes of God something had to be done to intervene.

I question any person who says, “The Bible clearly says,” insert random moral assertion here.” For instance, if you take the Bible as face value, the Old Testament has a few passages about Male Homosexual relationships, however there is a passage in Luke that supports Female Homosexual relationships. If you want the Bible to agree with it’s self, that is impossible. Moses did not write the Torha (sorry good little Sunday School boys and girls, he did not live to see have the things that happen in some of those books, including his funeral). We have four gospel writers, who tell the same story four ways. We have letters from Paul that show how his ideas about how to solve the “Jew/Christian’s who follow God” problem developed over time. Yes, the Bible shows the progression of people’s belief over time, so things at the end are going to conflict with things at the beginning. But with out that launching point to show us where things came from, we don’t understand where our faith tradition comes from.

Besides, the current thinking among Biblical scholars is that the entire Old Testament is slanted with a Post-Exlie outlook on the Jewish faith, setting up the idea that the Pharisees really banked on: following the law means adverting God’s judgment. As with any other book of the Bible, you have to think about the person/people/kind of person who wrote it. Are their issues the same as ours? Do things not apply to us if we don’t see a direct correlation? There are question that no person should be afraid to ask their pastor or youth leader. And if your church leadership is afraid, tell them that you know they are giving you crap and ask them who above them in your denomination you can ask. If you are in a congregational church that does not belong to a larger body or conference then ask your Pastor what Seminary they went to, look them up on the web, and e-mail any professor in the religion department who teaches biblical studies (trust me, they would love to talk to someone who is not already tainted by the bitterness that academics can bring to your search for knowledge). If you don’t have one, go here and ask Dr. Reeves.

Remember, do not let them pull you into the game of drawing lines. The Bible is not the answer book to all of life’s questions, contrary to popular Christian dogma. But dogma is no way to live your life by. The Bible is a collection of different people’s account of how God moved at a particular time in there life. Study it, and understand what God meant to them, and you might find out what God means to your own life. If you try to let it tell you what to believe, then you missed the point entirely.

Wemple posted this great find about how Christians are threatened by Atheists in the US. It got me to thinking, and you know how I can be when that hamster in my head goes into turbo mode. The following is a comment I posted in response to his post:

You really hit the hammer on the head. I think Nietzsche really had some great points to bring up about Christianity, and the sad thing is that the rise of Evangelical Christianity has done nothing but prove him right on so many counts. Does that mean that God is dead? No, but his followers sure act like it. Christianity has started to become so humanistic that it is hard to tell the difference between a Mega Church and a self help seminar. Christians these days are about, “Having a personal relationship with Jesus,” and, “Are you walking right with the Lord,” and jumping on bandwagons that point out the problems that everyone else has. They have developed that same kind of pretentious spirit that the Roman Empire had when if fell. After all, God is on their side so they have to be right…Right?

I think what struck me most about your post was this: in order for there to be growth there must be conflict. What makes us question who we are, that which forces us to think about why we believe what we believe, is a catalyst that makes us search deeper for the truth behind the reality that we see. These days the Christian Reich has helped non-believers paint the rest of the church as uncaring activists who only want to mold the world into their ideal version of perfection. Why should we fear people who have conflicting views? Why should we jump on and kill anything that might stand against what we believe? The only way that Christianity can actually be effective in a post-modern world is if the activists back it up, and actually listen to the opinions of others around them instead of treating these opinions like they were the plague. There is a reason the Nazis burned books during WWII: in order to keep your people under control you have to make sure they are not exposed to ideas that conflict with what you have told them to be true. I think that the Fundamentalists need to check their enthusiasm for do the, “will of God,” and start remembering that God has called us to be loving, compassionate, and caring.

Oh yeah, and to work with the people he has put in power over us. I’m sick of Christians complaining about how God has left the government, and how politicians do not do his will. I think I remember a passage in the gospels where the Pharisees asked Jesus about paying taxes, and his response really is a kick in the pants. He basically tells them that all power on heave and earth is given by the Father above and that they should, “render to Caser what is Caesar’s.” Stop trying to blame the problems of the country on all of these liberals who get elected into office, as if they were put there specifically to rob God of his power. If God did not want them there, they wouldn’t be there. Maybe what God is trying to show us is that we do not need him to “Heal our Land,” like so many Evangelical Rallies are proclaiming. Maybe, instead, he is trying to show us how to first accept people who have different views on how a life is to lived so that we can lovingly show them why we live life the way we do. The down side to this goes right back to how you opened up your post. If we are only doing the Christian thing because we are in it for the fire insurance for our soul, then we can’t really minister to those who thing differently by any other way than scaring them. The reason being: the only reason we jumped on the bad wagon ourselves was someone scared us into it.

Thanks again for such a great post, it got me to think about a lot of stuff that has been stirring underneath the surface of my mind for a while.

Its that time of year again. It’s time where everyone looks back at their life and says…this is not where I thought I would be. Or, in the words of a friend of mine, “All my life I thought I was going to go somewhere and be something, instead I ended up here.” Yes, I recognize that it is probably bad luck to start the New Year off with a very sarcastic and bitter post, but if you can’t bitch on your blog about the world where can you? In that spirit, I make the following resolutions for the New Year:

1. Get a job that pays enough to pay all my bills on time, instead of cycling them each month which to pay.

2. Write more, I have a book that I’ve been writing and I really need to stop making excuses and just finish the thing so I can go back and start editing the parts that suck.

3. Read 20+ books, not a very ambitious goal as I read 28 last year, but it’s a reasonable goal.

4. Find new and interesting ways to show my wife I love her.

5. Save up money to move the hell out of California, so I can actually afford to live and start thinking about having a kid.

6. Drink more good beer (as opposed to most of the beers out there) because beer makes everything better; that and Jack Daniels

That’s it. No unrealistic goals about loosing weight, or going to the gym, or working out every day. I will not run a marathon, give to more charity, or plant any trees. In stead I will focus on making my life situation better, making my wife happier, and work on being able to accept compliments for what they are instead of shrugging them off.

2007 shall be the year of renewal for me. I shall stop worrying about where I have been, and focus on where I am going. Mistakes will be learned from, not dwelt on. So its time to look fate in the eye, dig my heals in, and get ready for what is to come. I’ve been beaten repeatedly over the last year, and this time I’m going to spit in the face of fate if it tries to make things any worse. I will pick myself up from last years ashes, and charge forward into the New Year with a sense of purpose and future. This year will be better, because I have said so. So let it be written, so let it be done, the Trinity has spoken.

I saw this as I was looking through my tag surffer Are you A Christian or a Christ Follower I just had to stop and throw up.

I’m sorry, but who gives a shit? I’m sick and tired of Christians trying to one up each other by saying things like, “are you a Christ follower, or a Christian.” Come on people, wake up! Are we back on the play ground in grammar school? I know 3rd grade girls who are not that petty and self absorbed.

If you are a Christian, you follow the teachings of Christ (unless you go to an contemporary evangelical church, then you follow what your pastor says the teachings of Christ are), as they are set forth in the bible. Yes, I’m sorry for those protestant elitists like Baptists who think that no Catholic will ever get into haven, but they are following the teachings of Christ. But it seems that the only way that some people can feel ok with their own personal religious practices is to compare themselves to others around them. Well, I’m more Christian than you because I go to church, or bible study, or work with the homeless. Anyone who actually creates a distinction between a person who “Is a Christian” and who just thinks the teachings of Christ were groovy to follow, is setting themselves up only to judge others.

Here is what I think. If we all just actually listen to the teaching of Christ, and start looking out for people around us for no other reason then they are people that God loves, and stop making a show of everything we do, we may actually find that God is not as fire and brimstone as the church would have us believe. After all, Israel only got punished for saying they would do something then not. God never punished people for showing his love to everyone they came across. In fact, the only time God punished people in the bible is when the were a) oppressing other people or b) when a person/group/people would say one thing and did another. What the fuck does that have to do with “how Christian are you?”

OK, so it’s a rant, ok, so it’s a vent, and yeah I’m going to hell because I say things like Fuck and Shit. However, would you rather I went to hell for lying about my feelings and using other words that were not what I truly thought? You know what, forget the Christians. Reserve my spot in Hell next to Nietzsche, Bob Marley, Martian Luther, and any other free thinker who ever tried to tell “Christians” to fuck off and realize that organized religion is set up by man, run by man, and perpetuated by man, and is therefore not of God by definition. Stop making the Christian community look like a retarded collection of short sighted pop culture addicts, that have to find the latest greatest way of selling their religion so people will buy it. God’s been around since the beginning of time, I think he is going to be around for bit longer and that people will react better if they are not being bombarded with door to door Christianity Sales men/women (yes, God loves women too).