Trinity’s World

So did I meet my resolutions? I set forth the following goals for 2007, and as the year is drawing to a close I decided to pull the list out and see how I faired. Here is what I came up with:

1. Get a job that pays enough to pay all my bills on time, instead of cycling them each month which to pay.
Done As of Feb.

2. Write more, I have a book that I’ve been writing and I really need to stop making excuses and just finish the thing so I can go back and start editing the parts that suck.
Basically I did this. I stripped the story down and started over from a new point of view (same plot).

3. Read 20+ books, not a very ambitious goal as I read 28 last year, but it’s a reasonable goal.
I weighted in just under my target at 15 books this year. I got a real job that actually makes me work during the day, and I don’t get to read anymore while I wait for them to find something that I can do for them.

4. Find new and interesting ways to show my wife I love her.
I don’t think I found interesting ways, but I did find a few new ones.

5. Save up money to move the hell out of California, so I can actually afford to live and start thinking about having a kid.
Started this project when wife got job in Oct, and we actually have savings in our account for the first time in a while.

6. Drink more good beer (as opposed to most of the beers out there) because beer makes everything better; that and Jack Daniels
Failed: I have sampled more beers yes, but I have not found any that I say I like. Nothing quite comes close to either Guinness or Macesen’s XXX Stout. I like my beer dark, thick, sometimes chocolaty, and smooth.

7. I will focus on making my life situation better, making my wife happier, and work on being able to accept compliments for what they are instead of shrugging them off.
Let’s see, new Job, new Apartment, New clothes that fit, and paying all bills on time: I think that counts as a better situation all around.

8. 2007 shall be the year of renewal for me. I shall stop worrying about where I have been, and focus on where I am going. Mistakes will be learned from, not dwelt on.
I always struggle with dwelling on mistakes. I have moved past a lot of the mistakes I’ve made, and finally moved on in many regards. I think I’ve made this year about what “Can” be done, not what we can’t do. We have come a long way this year, and I am looking forward to what changes are in store for us for next year. What are my Resolutions for next year? That’s a good question, I haven’t thought about it yet. I’m still reflecting on the great things that I have been blessed with this year.

So did I make it for this year? I think I did.

OK, so I just finished my rant about money, and I decide to look through a few of my friends blogs because I have not made the time to do so lately. A friend of mine used to have a really funny website, but life got in the way and he only recently put a new one back up. I read this post he had up about things he had learned at this point in his young life and he is totally right. As a member of that not quite Gen-X but not quite Post-Modern/Gen Y age group, I tend to get caught up in all things I can’t control but feel that I should. And my default reaction when this happens is to freak out about how I’m inadequate to enact change in my own life, but not actually make any concrete moved to enact change in my life because I’m too busy analyzing it and complaining about it. Be offers some really great perspective that touched about everything I have been feeling this past week with my wife in North Carolina. Funny how I have to finally face myself now that I’m alone.

Anyway, read this post! It has some really great advice for people in their mid to late 20’s…well actually for anyone who is frustrated with their own inability to control their life. If I could only keep these things in mind as I try to sort out the place I’m in now and how to get to the next place in my journey of life.

So I found a new Theme for my website. I know, for some people this is an everyday occurrence. Some people change their theme every time their mood changes in a day. I am not one of these people. I really like my old theme, but I wanted something different. I saw this on has two sidebars to keep my widgets in, so I went with it to see if it functioned a little more friendly than my last theme. And, true to form, while it does not look as cool it does seem to easier to interface with.

There are some new things happening, aside from the theme change. In another theme change of sorts my wife and I are looking at having a Kid. Well, that not a change, we’ve been “talking” about it for a while. But now we are actually taking steps forward in that endeavor. And before your dirty minds start to get ahead of me, I’m talking about getting into a semi-responsible place in our lives before we bring a child into this world. I’m now in a place at my job where we are not going to have to not pay bills in order to pay other bills, rotating them out each month. We will actually be able to make rent, and bill, and still be able to get luxurious items such as food for us to eat, and gas to make the car go to work, without having to skip any of these important items. Now that I’m past my probation at work, I get health care that I don’t have to pay for out of my paycheck.

So are plan thus far looks like this. My wife has been struggling to find a job for over a year and a half now. Now she does not HAVE to get a job for us to survive. But if she gets a job we can afford to do things like pay off credit card debt, put money in saving, and treat ourselves every now and again to special things like gifts for Birthdays (also a new thing to us) and dinner at a nice restaurant every so often. And, we have learned how to live on less than our budget requirements, so we can do all of these things at once and not go any further into debt. So if my wife can find a job, our goal will be to get our debt paid off, get her health insurance, and get her pregnant. We hope this can happen in the next year. So, yeah for us!

Another change is that I’m taking a fresh look at my fantasy story I’ve been writing, and trying to rewrite it from a different perspective. This is different than the other times I’ve started over, because the story plot line is still intact but will be told form a different point of view. I just kept finding a whole bunch of characters that I really loved were stealing the spot light from the main character. I’m going to focus it a little bit, write the story arch about her first, and then add more about the other characters latter IF AND ONLY IF it furthers the story.

So lots of change is happening. Well, for me it’s a lot of change. After all I like to keep things predictable, and anytime things start to move quickly I get a little uncomfortable. But right now the pace is fairly steady, but no so fast I can’t see what is ahead of me. I like that.

“You survived your first week,” my boss said to me today as the end of the day approached. And I looked at her and said, “Is this as bad as it gets?”

My first week at my new job has been really good. I’m working for a company that is different from every other work experience that I have to date. I work for Laser App, a company that sells a piece of software that fill out forms for Brokers, Investors, and various other people who have a lot of paperwork to do in a day. At first I was nervous that it would be really boring working in their product support department, but I have been proven wrong on so many levels. My first week has been exciting, empowering, enlightening, and lot of other words too.

Let’s start with the Owner of the company. All 20+ employees work for one man who owns the whole outfit. On my third day this man made a passing comment to me about how the company will take time every month to have some kind of a get together to acknowledge birthdays and such. He looked at me and said, “Your birthday is September 12th, right?” And was right. He knows the name of every employee’s spouse (if they have one). And he treats his employees with respect. I have not run into a sing person yet who has not told me some story about how he has worked with them when ever life has thrown them a curve and needed time off or even small raises. He has two mottos: 1) Everyday try to find a way to make what we do a little better, and 2) Its my company, and I don’t’ care what other people think I’m going to take care of my employees.

Moving on to my Boss. The head of our Support Department has an interesting list of credentials. She once held a license to sell the same kind of securities and stuff our software was designed to help with, so she had a unique experience with the content of our work that none of the support people have. She also has a BA in Information Systems, as well as other academic credentials. She was once a Nun. And every day I come into work she is excited and energetic about what we do. She truly believes in our product, and will take any opportunity she can to impress on you how much of a time saver it is for these people who are making their living on weather or not they fill out a form correctly. And she if fun, understanding, calm on the phone even when the customer is upset, and she encourages each of her techs to not just give ideas but to help them blossom into things that actually happen in the organization.

The co-workers. My fellow support techs are really cool. They are a bit quarky, but they do not fit the stereo-typical geek profile because they actually have social skills. We spend the day talking trash about Windows, and how Microsoft is really exerting too much control over stuff. But one thing that no-one in my department has done yet is go off on how frustrating and stupid some of our users can be. Granted, we work with people who are generally more “intelligent” then the average person by virtue of the fact that they are either licensed (or being licensed) by state and federal agencies to do all kinds of complicated investing stuff. But that means they are really good at what they do, but sometimes not so good at figuring out computer issues. Since we offer free tech support, we end up talking to people who are very computer illiterate and can be frustrating. But (and I know its only been a week) I have never heard a single person hang up after a call, and go off about how retarded or stupid the customer is. In fact, the comment is usually something like “I’m glad they called, they feel so much better now.” Which brings me to the next cool thing about where I work.

The Application. The company has been around for 12 years. They have had 12 years to perfect and improve what their product does. Basically the need is this: If I am dealer who manages investments I’m locked into a certain group of investors I’m associated with, and therefore must use their forms to do all my business with. Well If I change associations, I have a new set of paperwork to use, and I have transition all of my clients over in order to continue to invest their money in the new association and make my commission (ie, my pay-check). Enter our application. A broker can buy our software, tell us what group he/she is associated with, and we will not only provide him with most of their forms, we provide them with the means of filling them out with just a few clicks. So a client who needs to have 7 forms (some with as many as 6 pages per form) filled out for each of their 300 clients, can simply select the client’s name from a database (our built in one or something else like Act or Goldmine), and from that database they fill out all the forms in a few minuets. They then call the client in to sign the forms and they are in business. Our boss started this company when he tried to do this same thing with 700 clients, it took him almost 3 years to completely transition all his clients over to the new association. He is about to do it again at the end of this year, and we’ve already proven it will take him 2 days to print out the files, and then he just has to wait for the clients to sign on the line. And the thing works. I’ve tried for 5 days now to break the beta that will come out soon, and I couldn’t do it. The thing is almost bullet proof, excepting the fact that windows get’s in the way of doing some advanced networking stuff for share information to other people on our network. I’ve never worked for a support desk that actually has a good product.

I predict I will be answering phones and in full swing by the end of next week. I have to learn two versions of the product right now, because the release of Windows Vista forced us to release our next version in beta till we work the bug out of Vista. I also have to learn what a lot these forms mean. Some of the companies we store forms for update their from ever week, others every quarter, and most only once a year or so. So I have to learn how the whole update server stuff works on the back end of things in order to make sure each customer has the most up-to-date forms for what they are doing. Its impressive, but a lot of stuff to jump into at once. I’m so excited!

So that’s that. I’m sure there will be more to come latter.

I’m sitting at my desk at work. This is the last time I will use this employer’s net access for my own personal use. Today I will turn in my key, collect my last pay check, and leave never to return.

It’s actually really weird. I’ve cleaned out my desk. So all the pictures my students have drawn form me over the last two years, the photos, and random art stuff, it’s gone. I’ve got a black wall in front of my computer screen. My desk is actually clean for once. My laptop bag is light as a feather. It’s kind of unsettling.

I spent today filing all my final paper work and writing two things. I wrote a good-bye letter to my co-workers and a lengthy response to the question, “How was your experience here.” I’ll turn latter into HR at my exit interview, and the former I printed at put in everyone’s mailboxes for my department. It’s really interesting how different in these two things ended up being. The good-bye letter was warm and heartfelt, and thanked everyone for being such a great group of people. The thing for HR was a cautious and firm statement saying exactly what I thought of the administration and how things are heading in a very bad direction. It was actually emotionally draining to do both of these right up against each other.

So now I wait. I think my boss is taking me to lunch in a bit, but other than that I have nothing to do. I’m going to miss the work here. It’s been a wonderful ride, and I’ve found out things about life and myself that I would not have been able to do anywhere else. There is one picture I am taking home with me, and I feel silly about doing it to honest. But it’s from a girl who finally discovered herself, and was able to accept that she was normal even though her dad is in jail. There are a hand full of other stories like hers that I have had been fortunate enough to witness, but this one sticks out in my mind. So, as silly as it seems I’m taking it home even though I know that in a few weeks I’m going to throw it away.

Monday I start a new job. A new challenge, a new chapter in my life, a new start as it were. But for today I think I’ll take a few moments to reflect on why I did love my job here even though the administration sucks.

I got a job offer yesterday! A real, good paying, job offer. It is with a software company that needs product support people, that is only a few blocks away from my apartment. I am so excited! I get to go back into the tech support field, I get to live closer to work and put less miles on my car, I get more money per month, and I become more marketable for when I wife and I move to North Carolina in the near future.

The company I will be working for, starting in two weeks, is called LaserApp Software.

I’m so happy I can’t even begin to describe it, so I’m going to stop trying. But for now, I can scratch off one of my New Year’s resolutions.

As stated in a previous post, I do not like New Years resolutions. However I did see something on a friend’s blog that I that would be cool to do. Basically it a wrap of the best of 2006, so here is the top ten for 2006:

10. Went wine tasting in Temecula (Near San Diego)
9. Made some major headway on the fantasy book I’m writing
8. Got assigned to work at an after school program, called HalfTime, for my agency
7. Helped my wife write a story that many people have received very well
6. Intervened in two suicide attempts at my schools that were serious
5. I’ve touched the lives of five kids who I hold dear to my heart
4. My wife and I both (at separate times) joined the Bells of Bedlam
3. Forged new/stronger friendships with people in my life
2. Forgave myself for loosing my job almost 2 years ago
1. Celebrated my one year wedding anniversary to the world’s most wonderful woman

That about wraps up the best of the best. Sometimes it is important to actually force yourself to think of the good things that happened in the past. For me, it took a while to remember all of these things because, honestly, last year was one of the hardest in my life. But, so much good did happen, and I’m looking forward to trudging on with this new year to find what new and exciting things await me.

Its that time of year again. It’s time where everyone looks back at their life and says…this is not where I thought I would be. Or, in the words of a friend of mine, “All my life I thought I was going to go somewhere and be something, instead I ended up here.” Yes, I recognize that it is probably bad luck to start the New Year off with a very sarcastic and bitter post, but if you can’t bitch on your blog about the world where can you? In that spirit, I make the following resolutions for the New Year:

1. Get a job that pays enough to pay all my bills on time, instead of cycling them each month which to pay.

2. Write more, I have a book that I’ve been writing and I really need to stop making excuses and just finish the thing so I can go back and start editing the parts that suck.

3. Read 20+ books, not a very ambitious goal as I read 28 last year, but it’s a reasonable goal.

4. Find new and interesting ways to show my wife I love her.

5. Save up money to move the hell out of California, so I can actually afford to live and start thinking about having a kid.

6. Drink more good beer (as opposed to most of the beers out there) because beer makes everything better; that and Jack Daniels

That’s it. No unrealistic goals about loosing weight, or going to the gym, or working out every day. I will not run a marathon, give to more charity, or plant any trees. In stead I will focus on making my life situation better, making my wife happier, and work on being able to accept compliments for what they are instead of shrugging them off.

2007 shall be the year of renewal for me. I shall stop worrying about where I have been, and focus on where I am going. Mistakes will be learned from, not dwelt on. So its time to look fate in the eye, dig my heals in, and get ready for what is to come. I’ve been beaten repeatedly over the last year, and this time I’m going to spit in the face of fate if it tries to make things any worse. I will pick myself up from last years ashes, and charge forward into the New Year with a sense of purpose and future. This year will be better, because I have said so. So let it be written, so let it be done, the Trinity has spoken.