42 Days of Insanity…and counting
Posted Thursday, August 25, 2005, 11:38 PM
Well, I guess I just have to accept the fact that I am losing my mind. It’s been a slow process, and as with most slow processes it has kind of snuck up on me. But I can no long deny the fact that my sanity is no longer in question. In fact, I have complete confidence that I an insane. Allow me to demonstrate with the cunning use of a few short statements.
-I have 42 days left till I get married.
-Toole is pronounced “tool” and has no use what-so-ever, with the exception of hanging your mother by her neck from the top of your church’s bell tower.
-It is totally out of the question to spend more than $800 dollars on rentals for 80 people to sit and eat off of, but completely justifiable to spend $900 on a dress that will only be worn once.
-They are called twinkle lights, because Christmas lights celebrate a pagan holiday where Saint Nick visited the Baby Jesus in a manger when Randolph helped the three wise man fight off the Abominable Snowman who just wanted to hear the Angels sing. Don’t you watch TV?
-Ivory, Champaign, Ecru, and Sparkling Wine are not all the same color, but you had better get white lines at your reception or your bride will not match the tables.
If any of the above statements makes sense to you, I have a great place you can go to for help. The walls are padded, the staff are really nice, and the food they give you makes you feel happy all the time. If I survive this ordeal known as, “Throwing a Wedding Reception,” I want a medal. I will settle for a medal of honor while my wonderful bride gets the Purple Heart, but I want something hanging on my wall that will tell the world that I survived. And to serve as a warning to any who come after me to go to Las Vegas or Lake Taho and just get it done and have a really nice honeymoon.
I can’t wait to be married. I can not wait to stand before God, my Preist, and my Friends, and declare to the world that I will be spending the rest of my life with the woman I love. Now If I can get away with only inviting select members of the family to be there, and with feeding only a handful of people, I would not be worried about the rest of the day.