The Pastor’s Ass
Friday, February 17, 2006, 09:17 AM
My mother sent this to me today, and I laughed really hard. I’m not sure why, but I found it really funny. My mother’s e-mails usually inspire much different emotions in me, but I just had to post this for all to see.
A pastor wanted to raise money for his church. On being told that there was a fortune to be made in horses he decided to purchase one and enter it in the races.
At the local auction, however, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.
He figured since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his delighted surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: Pastor’s Ass Shows.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again. This time it won! The local paper read: Pastor’s Ass Out Front.
The bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper read: Bishop Scratches Pastor’s Ass.
The bishop was fit to be tied. He ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing the news, posted this headline the next day: Nun Has Best Ass in Town.
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey. So, she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars. The next day, the paper read: Nun Sells Ass For $10.00.
After the bishop was revived, he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read: Nun Announces Her Ass Is Wild and Free.
The bishop was buried the next day.