Why a Wife and Kids?
Posted Thursday, October 19, 2006, 10:08 AM
I posted this on a forum in responce to a question on of the members posted. The question was: Why do people get married, and why do they have kids. The person was needing to vent a bit, so I just like the my fingers start typing. Here is what came out.
Depends on who you ask. Scientists say it is part of our genetically hard wired behavior, in order to insure the continuance of the species. Marriage is a way of providing stability to an environment, to ensure that the young are raised in an environment that will see them reach maturation. Psychologists will tell you it’s because that is what our society tells us is the right thing to do at a given moment in our life, and children are a way for us to pass our values on to the next generation.
I got married because I knew that I had found a person that made something click inside of me. That click made me want to be a better person, made me want to share my life with that person, and sparked a desire inside me to never have to live life with out that person’s presence. I was raised to believe that when you find some one that does that to you, the only course of action is to grab on with both hands and not let go. Has it been easy? Well, nothing worth doing is easy. There have been arguments, there have been things done on both sides of the relationship that have hurt, but we made a promise to each other that no matter what we would work it out. And every time we do, I’m a better person for having done it.
As for kids…everyone has kids for different reasons. I work with them everyday, K-12 school kids. And the reasons range from wanting to save a marriage, to wanting to have another person in their lives that they could love. But one thing I’ve learned about being a parent, by standing on the sidelines and learning before I become one myself, is that parents have the hardest job in the world. They have to be adults, people who pay the bills, make sure there is a house to live in, food to eat, and cloths to ware. But in addition to that, they have to be able to relate adult things and ideas to kids who are not quite able to grasp them. A majority of parents, regardless of the reason for having kids, grow to love their kids more then they love themselves. So when kids do things, like the kids I see every day do, parents see it as a failure on their part. It’s hard to love someone and watch them learn hard lessons in life, but sometimes it’s just as hard to watch them learn the easy ones.
I’m sure of one thing, having been married for a short time, and having worked with kids for a short time. Marriage and kids will kill you. By that I mean they will kill the person you are, and start you on a journey to a new person who has no choice but to think of certain others well being before your own. And for a person like me, who is selfish and wanting to only worry about what I have to do, that can be a scary thing,
Sorry for the rant. It’s just my opinion. You were venting, so I just kind of let my fingers do the walking with out really thinking too hard about what was being typed.