Bible VS Cellphone

Every now and then I get a religious e-mail and I can’t help myself. My mom sent me the following e-mail:

Cell phone vs. The Bible

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone?

  • What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
  • What if we flipped through it several time a day?
  • What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
  • What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
  • What if we treated it like we couldn’t live without it?
  • What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
  • What if we used it when we traveled?
  • What if we used it in case of emergency?

This is something to make you go….hmm…where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing:
Unlike our cell phone, we don’t have to worry about our Bible being disconnected, because Jesus already paid the bill.

Makes you stop and think ‘where are my priorities?’ And no dropped calls!

Trust in the Lord and *ASAP (Always Say A Prayer)
Have a blessed and wonderful day!

I took the e-mail under advisement and did what I though I was being lead to do, and wrote the following response to the e-mail:

Here is what would happen if I treated my bible like my cell phone:

  • It would get scratched/ripped apart from all the crap in my pockets/laptop bag
  • As I flipped it open, it would fall apart into three bits (see above)
  • I would be thankful I left it at home because I keep getting spam messages from people who are trying sell me on crap I don’t need (think tele-Evangelist)
  • If I relied on it like my cell phone, every time someone needed to send me a text I would receive it 3 days latter, or I would have to power it off and reboot it every time I try to send one myself
  • I would plug it in every night only to find that the plug was not perfectly in place so the battery would be dead the next morning
  • I would give it to my kids a curse to make sure they suffered the same frustrations as me, and be able to say unreasonable things like “If you are not trust worthy enough to use your phone they way I told you, then how can I trust you to do anything right.”
  • It would give me directions just like google maps or map quest….meaning I would take the hardest, longest, most confusing directions to a location that moved the year before and is no longer there
  • I would go to use in emergencies and I would get a “Call Failed” message every time I dial 911 (true story, a car blew up on the freeway and I couldn’t report it)

So in short, I would hate it, use it’s name in vain, get lost, stress out why I can’t use it to get my much needed questions answered, have a desire to smack the person who asked me if they got the message they sent, and always be searching for the better version to use that made more sense and was more reliable. Wait….I already do that 🙂 Would it come with the one year service plan so that I could say my confessions and get my absolution by default…or do you have to by the interfaith unlimited request plan to get that? That might be worth it to my Catholic Friends.

And another thing…because it came to me as I was writing this post:

  • Just because you don’t have any dropped calls, does not mean that your cellphone will actually PLACE a call to the number you requested

Don’t get me wrong…I am a person who has much Techno-Joy. However I think the metephore was not thought out very well on this one.


~ by trinity777 on November 17, 2008.

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